The Purpose and Meaning of Life
A number of years ago, I was asked by my karate master, “What is the meaning of life?” This question took me by surprise, but I answered, “I think the purpose of life is to be happy”. He said nothing in response to my answer but he did smile.
For over sixteen years, men participating in Men Mentoring Men (M3) have been discussing that same question. The answers tend to have core elements that may shift and vary as a man’s life evolves and circumstances change but these core elements never go away.
A typical M3 meeting is a very non-typical experience for most men. Our meetings generate deep reflection and curiosity about a man’s life. No matter what the particular topic, the real content of discussion relates to what a man thinks, feels, needs, desires, imagines or creates within the structures of his life. Indeed, inherent in every meeting, social encounter, workshop, newsletter, or relationship looms the same living question, “What is the purpose and meaning of life”?
I will present to you a few of the undeviating ways men of M3 answer that question. It is not surprising to note that the answers M3 men articulate and live are consistent with current research on happiness.
Without a doubt, men do not talk about the meaning or purpose of life without talking about relationships-intimate relationships. Meaning and purpose is almost always viewed in context to our relationships with wives, children, family, partners, friendships and connections with four-legged creatures. It seems impossible to find purpose and meaning within a life of isolation. Men of M3 frequently thank other men for adding substance to their life. This substance we believe is inherent in our trust and respect for our shared friendship and the uncommon intimacy M3 evokes.
Another necessary ingredient coupled to feeling one’s purpose and meaning relates to happiness and life-satisfaction. Men need to be in love with life. Men want to feel that their actions have value and make a contribution to something larger then themselves. Men need to play and have fun. A good belly laugh should not be an unusual experience. Men want to feel their potency as providers, friends, lovers, leaders, and fathers. In order for a man to believe he has purpose and meaning he must look in a mirror and see all that his life touched. He needs to see a reflection of the reality of who he is, then look beyond the mirror and trust his strengths to create his future.
M3 helps men take the confusion out of the question of the purpose and meaning of life. The answer may not be as elusive as you think. In fact, no moment goes by without the opportunity to affirming your purpose and meaning. The key is to be conscious of that purpose which involves holding self-respect and a belief in the value of life unaltered by the foibles of your humanity.
Perhaps, you can ask yourself a few key questions. How connected with others are you? Do you need to let go of shame?Are you a fun person to be around? Can you be more intimate?Are there men in your life you trust? Are you serving others? Do you play and laugh enough?
Men Mentoring Men exists to help men answer these questions for themselves in life-affirming ways. It is a structure where some magic seems to happen. If you are thinking about M3, then give it a try. Action taken to deepen your relationships or embrace life will, in turn, clarify your purpose and meaning. In fact, clues emerge from each and every choice you make.
Ed Adams, M3 Founder July 2008