Men Mentoring Men

Political affiliation aside, the Presidency of Barack Obama offers an unprecedented opportunity for men to question, broaden, debate, and re-define our conscious and unconscious notions about masculinity.

Within my lifetime, no other President has displayed a leadership style that challenged the traditional heroic or macho model of masculinity. Typical male leaders modeled and informed men that strong men are often forceful, imposing, warlike, uncompromising, non-revealing, and should remain steadfast once a decision is announced or else he risked being labeled a “flip-flop”. This male leadership style emerges comes from the notion that male strength shows no indecisiveness or apology, avoids admission of error, and doesn’t display vulnerability. This brand of masculinity is a prolific view of heroic men in popular culture. This man is the Rambo type character who defeats the enemy despite the odds. He accomplishes his mission alone and with little regard to his or other people’s welfare. This hero figure may leave behind profound destruction but because he stayed true to his rigid beliefs and/or ideals the “collateral damage” is seen as just and necessary. I call this traditional belief system an Orthodox Style of Masculinity. This is in contrast to a “Dynamic Model of Masculinity” comprised of four characteristics or the Four E’s.

Envision living a masculinity that is unlimited in human potential.
Engage the vision and make it real.
Expand your humanity, creativity, strength, and love.
Enact the new vision with yourself, those you love, and in the world community.

Men Mentoring Men challenges the idea that masculinity can be fully expressed while holding the Orthodox vision. Indeed, the men of M3 are deeply involved in the effort to re-vision masculinity. Our philosophy makes the assumption that living a large life and expanding the range of our humanity has a greater probability to create happiness in ourselves, those we love, and within the larger community. We are working hard to find ways to be living as men unafraid to be fully alive, connected, aware, and abundant. We imagine men expressing the full range of their humanity with nuance, flexibility, and a deep sense of community. In essence, we help each other define what it means to live within a Dynamic vision of Masculinity.

I hope we take the opportunity and responsibility inherent in our culture to free ourselves of the shackles that bind the best of who we are. A world populated by men who encouraged each other to live large, fulfilled and inter-related would transform lives. The men of M3 are witnesses to this assertion.

I welcome any man to exploring Men Mentoring Men as well as those currently involved to ask himself these four questions: What does it mean to live a full life? What beliefs about myself hold me back? Do the men around me support the Dynamic or Orthodox view of masculinity? What benefits would others receive from your willingness to be more connected?