Men Mentoring Men

Gender Man

Men Mentoring Men is an open, not-for-profit organization that attracts men interested in exploring their life from a male perspective. There are no rational or moral grounds for an organization such as M3 to pay attention to a man’s sexual orientation. Although the majority of men within M3 are heterosexual, there are openly gay men who participate and a few men who have found the courage to “come out” because of the support offered by the straight men who participate in his particular group.

Sometimes a man will tell a friend or acquaintance of their participation in M3 and find that it can provoke a question or an inquisitive look that wonders if M3 is a “gay” group. In our culture, if men enjoy the company of other men, take the time to seek out male friends, express affection and sincere concern for another man it can evoke a homophobic reaction. Studies have shown that many men in our culture view any display of affection, vulnerability or emotional closeness with another man as non-masculine. These behaviors are construed as potentially “gay” or “girlie” and are believed to be taboo.

These facts suggest that it would be more “manly” to be alone and isolated, non-expressive of emotion and reveal only superficial facts about your life to other men. It suggests that “manliness” means you can and should deal with life alone and possess all the necessary resources to handle everything life throws at you. The tragic consequence of these beliefs creates men who suffer empty lives, possess hollow souls and transmit this covert and overt darkness on to their sons.
 
So let’s get real. Be proud of your masculinity and reject the notion that having needs is weak and un-manly. You have deep social, emotional, sexual and material needs. You don’t have all the answers and are not expected to have super powers. We need each other and depend upon one another to survive and thrive. I urge all men to think about and take responsibility for the way you define “masculine” and I hope what you come up with leaves plenty of room for all men to live a big, deep and satisfying lives.

Ed Adams, Psy.D.
M3 Founder